Let me tell you something sacred: There is a deep, almost orgasmic pleasure in being decent. Not heroic. Not a goddamn savior. Just… fucking… decent.

Like when I let someone merge in traffic and they give me that little wave. That wave? That’s my Nobel Peace Prize. That wave is crack cocaine for the soul.

Or when I screw up, cut someone off, take the wrong turn, whatever, and instead of pretending I’m Jesus behind the wheel, I raise my hand. My bad, bro. It’s so small. So effortless. And it gives me joy.

Why? Because I’m not a fucking asshole.

The Joy of Micro-Decency

These are low-effort, high-impact moments. The mental equivalent of picking a flower on your way to work and realizing it smells better than your boss’s cologne and moral compass combined.

These moments don’t go viral. They’re not monetizable. They don’t need likes or shares.

But they’re your little middle fingers to the chaos. A subtle rebellion. A quiet “fuck you” to a culture that rewards assholes, punishes empathy, and hands microphones to walking ego tumors.

Kindness as a Weapon

Let me be clear: I’m not nice because I’m weak. I’m nice because I’ve been to the dark side.

I’ve seen what it’s like to be so consumed with bitterness, insecurity, and ego that you start chewing your own soul like a stress ball.

It’s not fun. It’s not deep. It’s not “real.” It’s just being an asshole in 4K resolution.

Kindness isn’t weakness. It’s psychological warfare. It’s being decent in a world that dares you not to be.

The Saintly Troll

Have you ever held the door for someone who clearly didn’t want your help? Peak serotonin.

That little grimace they give you, like they’re mad you were nice first? That’s the good shit.

Because here’s the real twist… I don’t do these things just for kindness. I do it to irritate assholes.

That’s right. I troll them. With eye contact. With a smile. With one generous, non-cynical act at a time.

And it works. They squirm. They glare. They mutter.

Because nothing pisses off an asshole more than someone being nice on purpose.

Meanwhile, the Assholes…

Let’s talk about them… The folks so tight-assed and emotionally constipated, a smile might cause them physical harm.

The ones who act like saying “thanks” costs money. The ones who speed up when you signal a lane change. The ones who think being a prick is a skill. The boss, who’s stunned, thanked you for being nice to them. (True story!)

Fuck them. They’re not cool. They’re not clever. They’re just one mild inconvenience away from stabbing a barista over the milk froth ratio.

The Science (If You Care)

If you want the nerdy take: this shit does have a name. It’s called “moral elevation.” It’s called “helper’s high.”

It’s the dopamine spike you get from being a decent human without needing a goddamn TED Talk to validate it.

But forget the psych terms. Here’s what it really is:

It’s peace. It’s power. It’s the one thing that can’t be taken from you unless you let the world turn you into one of them.

Final Thought: Rage Responsibly

You don’t have to change the world. You don’t have to be a monk or a martyr.

But in a world full of assholes, be the soothing chaos.

Raise your fucking hand when you mess up. Let someone go ahead of you. Smile at the cashier. Be nice to your asshole boss. Flip off the algorithm.

And if someone tries to make you feel dumb for doing it? Smile harder. Kill them with the kindness they clearly never received as a child.

And remember:

Don’t be an asshole. Be a hemorrhoid, irritate assholes by just being there.